Thursday, February 2, 2017

Some of the Keys to a Happy Life

I. Breaking up:
If you are in abusive relationship, leave. If you can’t tell whether or not you’re in an abusive relationship, leave. If you aren’t happy, leave. If you’re happy but you could be happier, leave. If he threatens to kill himself if you leave, leave.
You’re not heartless, you’re just trying to save the one you have.If your parents don’t like him, they’re probably onto something. If he cheats on you, leave. If he cheats on you but promises to change, leave. If he doesn’t treat you right, leave.
If you feel uncomfortable, leave. If he does something wrong, give him the chance to fix it. If he doesn’t, leave. 
If your feelings change, leave. Love is not always reason enough to stay.

II. Moving on:
To put it simply, it’s hard as fuck. It takes forever and aches all the time.
There’s nothing you can do about it, all there is to do is hurt. You just have to hurt for awhile and eventually the pain subsides. Don’t be a cliche. Drinking doesn’t really numb the pain it just makes you cry and text him that you miss him and then cry harder when he ignores you.
Cutting doesn’t help either. Pain is temporary, scars make it permanent. Don’t you fucking dare wear your sixteen-year-old heartache on your wrists for the rest of your life.
Delete his number and all the pictures on your phone. Unfollow him on Instagram and unfriend him on facebook and do not watch his fucking snapchat stories. When he gets a new girlfriend, try not to let it break you, okay? She’s not prettier than you.

III. Sex:
Have it. Or don’t.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin at 16 or 36. It doesn’t matter if all your friends are doing it. There is no number that coincides with the loss of your virginity. People will tell you that losing your virginity doesn’t matter. That’s not true.
The truth is that it doesn’t define you. But it does matter. Not because it means something important or because it changes you or the way people see you, just because it’s an emotional thing and it’s really fucking personal. And no, you don’t have to have sex with someone you’re in love with, but you do have to be comfortable.
You have to want it. You’ll know when you’re ready because you won’t have to question it, and it’s okay to not be ready for awhile. Don’t do it because your boyfriend is begging, if he pressures you, refer back to “I.” If it hurts, stop. Use protection. It’s not what you see in the movies and it’s definitely not what you see in porn.
If you get sexually abused, go to the police. He can’t touch you like that and get away with it. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to change your mind. You don’t owe anybody anything and it doesn’t matter how fucking short your goddamn skirt is or how drunk you are.

IV. Your body:
You’re probably not going to like it very much. You’re going to hate the way your tummy looks when you sit down. You’ll stand in front of the mirror and suck in. You’ll hate the way your thighs rub together and the little bumps you get from it. You’ll manage to find something wrong with everything, your left boob is bigger than your right, one of your eyes squints a little more when you smile, your hands are too small. People will tell you to love yourself and to be body positive. No one really acknowledges that it’s not that fucking easy. Learning to love yourself isn’t the same as learning geometry, there’s no textbook or answer key or teacher. There are going to be things that you hate about yourself that you learn to love and there are going to be things that you hate about yourself that you’ll always hate and that is okay. 
Fix the things you can fix. If you hate your nose, get a nose job. If you want to lose weight, go to the gym and eat healthy.
If you’re sick of your hair, change it. Change the things you can change and accept the things you can’t. By the way, everyone has stretch marks and cellulite, they just don’t talk about it.

V. Other things to remember:
If you’re gay, you’re not obligated to come out. You don’t have to tell your parents. Live your life and love who you love. It is nobody elses business.
There is no such thing as “girl code.” If you and your best friend like the same boy and he wants you, you’re allowed to be with him. You need to put yourself first and do what makes you happy. Don’t put boys above your friends but don’t put your friends above your happiness.
Try really hard in school. I mean it. You will thank yourself later.
You don’t have to have a relationship with your parents, sharing blood with someone doesn’t give them the right to treat you like shit.  Don’t keep toxic people in your life, it’s okay to cut them out. Do what is best for you.  Don’t drink to black out, it’s dangerous and it’s not fun.
None of the bad stuff lasts. You’ll be fine.

/ Borrowed from letterstocrushes.com /

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Tuesday Taste: I Was Told There'd Be Cake


"As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state og my apartment should I get killed during the day. Say someone pushes me onto the subway travks. Or I get accidentally blown up. Or a woman with a headset and baby carriage wheels over my big toe, backing me into some scaffolding, which shakes loose a lead pipe, which lands on my scull. What then? After the ambulance, the hospital, the funeral, the trays of cheese cubes on foil toothpicks... 

Back in the apartment I never should have left, the bed has gone unmade and the dishes unwashed. The day I get shot in a bodega (buying cigarettes, naturally) will in all likelihood be the day before laundry Sunday and the day after I decided to clean out my closet, got halfway through, and opted to watch sitcoms in my prom dress instead."

Borrowed from I Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloane Crosley


My comment: I have read a few of the essays in this collection, and I love them. I knew this book was something I would enjoy the moment I found it stuffed into an overflowing shelf at a bookstore called Greenlight Books in Brooklyn. I have yet to finish the collection, but I have really enjoyed it so far and I encourage you to check it out if you like essay collections as much as I do, and even if you don't I think you might still like this.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Just the Highlights (1)

On one of the many blogs that I have started and somewhat kept up with the past few years, I used to do these posts where I would note all the small things/moments I appreciate about my life. It's a thing I started doing after feeling pardon my french really shitty for a long time. I know this might not be interesting to you, but I like it, so yeah, that's all for now. I hope you guys are having a good week.

Love, H

ONE. A few weeks ago my younger sister turned 21, and I got to spend the day celebrating this incredible human being that I get to call my sister. It was lovely.
TWO. This past week I got to spend time with some of my best friends, and I feel so fortunate to have them in my life. Sometimes all you need is someone to be there with you, someone that you know will be there for you if you ever need them and it is so nice to be reminded of that.
THREE. I rediscovered my love for Margot and the Nuclear So and So's. A band that I used to love, and when I found them on Spotify I remembered why. I really encourage everyone to check them out, because they're amazing.
FOUR. This song in my life right now: Michigan by The Milk Carton Kids. I have fallen completely in love with this song. It is so beautiful. Gahh, I just love it so much. This is the type of song that makes me want to take long walks, write poetry and experience the world in slow motion. 
FIVE. Oakland Rain, a local band, their music is very soothing and nice. I really think you should check these girls out, they are very talented. 
SIX. Having a few days off work. It has been so nice to be able to read and write and just be home for a few days.




Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Yearathon TBR (May) ♥

Hey! So... I posted a new video on my youtube channel, feeling really inspired to make videos lately, so I have some fun stuff coming up. I really hope you check it out! I'm so excited to be back at it again. Hope everyone is having a great week so far. 

I'd love to know what you're currently reading/plan on reading this month.
 


Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Tuesday Taste: A Court of Thornes and Roses (4)


"The forest had become a labyrinth of snow and ice. I'd been monitoring the parameters of the thicket for and hour, and my vantage point in the crook of a tree branch had turned useless. The gusting wind blew thick flurries to sweep away my tracks, but buried along with them any sign of potential quarry. Hunger had brought me farther from home then I usually risked, but winter was the hard time. The animals pulled in, going deeper into the woods than I could follow, leaving me to pick off stragglers one by one, praying they'd last until spring. They hadn't."

Taken from A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas.

My comment: I have just started reading this, and after finishing Throne of Glass, and loving it, I am expecting great things from this. If you've read this, I'd love to hear what you think about it. Let's talk in the comments :)


Thursday, October 22, 2015

Joe Hill's The Cape by Jason Ciaramella and Zach Howard

Published: October 16th, 2007
Publisher: IDW Publishing
Age Group: 16+
Pages: 132
Format: Paperback
Rating: ♥♥♥


Every little boy dreams about putting on a cape and soaring up, up, and away... but what if one day that dream were to come true? Eric was like every other eight-year-old boy, until a tragic accident changed his life forever. THE CAPE explores the dark side of power, as the adult Eric - a confused and broken man - takes to the skies... and sets out to exact a terrible vengeance on everyone who ever disappointed him. This critically acclaimed, Eisner-Award nominated story, written by Jason Ciaramella, based on the short story by New York Times bestselling author Joe Hill, with art by Zach Howard and Nelson Daniel, will linger with you long after you turn the last page, and force you to ask yourself the question: "What if?"




My thoughts on it:
I don't really know what I was expecting going into this graphic novel, but I ended up finding it entertaining, but in some ways, also lacking. This graphic novel was adapted from a short story written by Joe Hill, and going into it, I guess I expected something that was as great at Joe Hill's Locke & Key graphic novel series, sadly, I ended up being a little let down. I did enjoy this read, and I flew through it once I started reading it, but I think that the story just didn't intrigue me as much as that of Locke & Key, and while I am aware that I shouldn't really be comparing the two, because they are very different, I just can't help myself.

This graphic novel tells the story of a boy that wants to be a superhero, but ends up as a villain. It is about vengeance and it is gruesome at times (most of the time), I found that I didn't really connect with the story in a way that I would have liked to. But I did think that it was interesting to witness the main characters decent into madness. I felt like I got to see this mans physique unravel before me, and that was very interesting.

Overall, I am glad I borrowed this from the library and that I read it. I think that a lot of people could love this, but I'm not one of them. I give it three stars/hearts because I did enjoy it, I just didn't find it to be very memorable. But I do have to say that the art in this is great, I really enjoyed that aspect of it, the story just wasn't for me.


Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Tuesday Taste: Everything Sucks But I'm Still Happy (3)


"This is losing your father and virginity within a month of each other. A sweaty back sticking to the fogged up window of my 16 year old boyfriend's car. The smell. Musty and sweet, and clinical, like running a marathon and having a check up at the doctors office all at once. The pungent latex from the condom, the ammonia-bleach-like semen, and all these things I wasn't really supposed to be smelling in the midst of grief." 


My comment: I have started reading this collection of essays, and there is something very emotional and beautiful about the way Ari Eastman writes. It is brutally honest as well as very relatable. She writes about her experiences, about loss and heartache, and just trying to get trough the toughest days. I see myself in her writing a lot of the time, which is why I think I enjoy it so much. I encourage you to give it a try also.


You can find more information about the book here, and the author here.


Monday, October 19, 2015

The Boy Most Likely To by Huntley Fitzpatrick

Published: August 18th, 2015
Publisher: Dial Books
Age Group: Young Adult
Pages: 432
Format: Hardback
Rating: ♥♥♥♥ (4,5)

Surprises abound and sparks ignite in the highly anticipated, utterly romantic companion to My Life Next Door

Tim Mason was The Boy Most Likely To:
- find the liquor cabinet blindfolded
- need a liver transplant
- drive his car into a house

Alice Garrett was The Girl Most Likely To:
- well, not date her little brother’s baggage-burdened best friend, for starters.
For Tim, it wouldn’t be smart to fall for Alice. For Alice, nothing could be scarier than falling for Tim. But Tim has never been known for making the smart choice, and Alice is starting to wonder if the “smart” choice is always the right one. When these two crash into each other, they crash hard. Then the unexpected consequences of Tim’s wild days come back to shock him. He finds himself in a situation that isn’t all it appears to be, that he never could have predicted . . . but maybe should have. And Alice is caught in the middle. 

Told in Tim’s and Alice’s distinctive, disarming, entirely compelling voices, this return to the world of My Life Next Door is a story about failing first, trying again, and having to decide whether to risk it all once more.

My thoughts on it:
This book was, like all of Huntley Fitzpatrick's books, wonderful. She is one of those authors that make you happy no matter what she writes, and I have enjoyed all of her books. While My Life Next Door, is and will always be my favorite, this one still blew me away, it was so nice to dive deeper into Tim and Alice's characters, to get to know them in this book (it was also nice to read about Jase and Samantha again). I really enjoyed the dual point of view that you get as Tim and Alice tell the story in alternating parts. I found that I felt for Tim and his struggles and enjoyed seeing him grow up quite a lot during the course of this book. I also enjoyed Alice as a character because she develops just as much as Tim does in this story. It was so nice to see a softer side to Alice in this book, and to see them come together and make each other better people.

I enjoyed the storyline a lot as well, it was interesting and kept me engaged in the story, because I just wanted to see what would happen. I won't say more about the plot because I don't want to spoil anything, but this truly is a very cute book, and if you enjoy stories about growing up, falling in love and learning to deal with life, I would really recommend that you pick this up.


Sunday, October 18, 2015

instant moments (4)

This past week I haven't been posting on instagram as much as previous weeks, but it has still been a great week. Days spent with family and friends. I came across a video on youtube this week that kind of stopped me in my tracks, because while it was aimed at americans going to Norway, talking about what Norway and norwegians are like, the video gave me a new perspective on my own country and fellow people. It said that while norwegian people might come across closed off or even rude, it is not because we are but simply because we value privacy and personal space, and I found that to be so true. We also value family and friends and spending time with those people, the people that we love, which I also find to be true, because I am very close with my family. Ever since I was little we have spent every summer together at our family summer house/cabin, and I've never really thought about that not being normal for everyone. So this week I've been more aware of the relationship I have with my family and it has been very nice. A lot of the time I think that I (as well as other people) have a tendency to forget about these things, because they've always been a constant in my life, and now that I've really thought about it, I am so grateful for my family.


Love, H